Sucked in
by MrsLukeSkywalker1997
Summary: Another sad atemp at a good idea what if luke Skywalker got pulled in at the tractor beam in esb
1. Chapter 1

Sucked in

_**Executer **_ Lord Vader the millennium falcon is within range for the tractor beam said Piett .Pull them in responded the tall dark figure. I've got you now son…….

_**Millennium**_ _**Falcon **_ "Vader" responded a semi conscious Luke "well isn't this great" thought Leia first Han in carbonite Luke's limbs severed and now Vader. "wahhhhhhhh" groaned chewy. A tractor beam sith spawn screamed leia. Thanks a lot leia shouted Luke. The chances of getting away are 732.9 to 1 "shut up golden rod". now your sounding like master han.c-3po said before being shut down

_**Executer – landing bay "**_Lord Vader what should we do with the passengers." "Take the boy to the Medbay and all other passengers put into the detention area treat them as threats no matter how hot you think the princess is commander".I hate how he does that mind reading thing thought commander Joe

_**2 hrs later Medbay- **_how are you doing son. Luke responded "pretty good considering I just got one of my limbs sliced of" and I got told that my dad was the 2nd biggest monster in the whole friggin galaxy he thought. "you can't hide your thoughts my son" "oh cheezeitz""what are those." asked Vader " don't ask me ask the author."what im being written about yeah exclaimed vader im going to arrest you for child abuse. Suddenly he felt pressure on his neck .im kidding mr sensitive. "Holy crap look out the window Luke its your hand." "omg its flying"__


	2. Chapter 2

Chappie 2

I forgot that I needed a disclaimer so this will do for all chapters okay

George Lucas-"okay"

Me –"I don't own star wars because I am not a man and am not old"

George-"Yeah" "what I am not old you take that back"

Me "no, but im also not one of the geniuses that created the world greatest hottie"

George-I knew you liked me"

Me –"No way I meant luke skywalker".Scince when did people create themselves"

George-"me confused lets get own with story"

**Twenty four hours later in Vader's personal quarters**-"Luke today you shall be doing some physical conditioning" "what does Sith training have to do with hair care products" asked a confused Luke. "With yoda I just went into evil trees." "Yoda is still alive" roared Vader. "No" replied a scared Luke "and obi wan doesn't turn into a spirit and talk to me sometimes either."Okay" said Vader. " Let's get this training session started" "Now Workout on this thing" said a physically fit Vader ( a robot cant be fit.)"What is that thing a torture device" cried a scared Luke. "No it's a Pilates machine, "I hear it's all the rage for young adults" "Yeah well most young adults don't have Darth V as their father" said Luke with trust problems.(an luke when he's angry so hot.) "Many children would kill for this opprotunitey"said Vader. "Who chuckie" replied Luke. "Who's Chuckie asked Vader" "Stupid muggle" mumbled Luke "I am not stupid…wait what did you call me..A muggle" "crap he's going to find out about my harry potter obsession" thought an anxious Luke. "What's Harry Potter tell me, tell me, tell me" said Vader while jumping up and down. To make a long story short they all watched Harry potter movies except prisoner of Azkaban (which sucks like a baby's binky).and all was fine in the room but down the hall princess leia was being put in her own personal Hades.

**Same time detention chambers with Our fave girl heroine Leia- **Leia was crying around the same time as our lukey-poo was watching Harry Potter. She would have continued this for hours on end until some jerk guard named bob came in the room and started being a donkey. "Oh the poor princess is sad did your daddy not buy you a unicorn" taunted bob "well I have some bad news princess your scumbag of a dad is gone and never coming back" "Oh stuff a lemon up your nose"(btw that's what doctors say pregnancy is like, personally I don't put lemons in my nose) replied our peeved of princess. "oh did the poor princess break a nail" said bob not getting the point that bad things happen when you mess with this princess" Then in one swift movement she pulled out a replica of that ring in space balls and pointed it south of the belly button. And soon poor bob was crying like the little baby he is. She sat their depressed for no reason until her food came then all of a sudden she saw pudding and went bezerk. After shoveling the food into her mouth she threw up.

Whats wrong with leia… does she have swine flu and how is darth Vader feeling about harry potter find out on total drama island oh no wrong cue cards.

Want to here the new the new alphabet ABCDEFGH1N1LMNOP exedra exedra


	3. Chapter 3

Chappie 3 New today on total drama island. Palpy you gave me the wrong cue cards.(me strangling him using my super mutant powers )

Me-I own star wars suckers.

Mob of angry people with pitch forks-grrr

Me-Okay I'm just a sad rip off artist playing in George Lucas's world with a semi good story or so only 4 reviewers say.

1 day later in Vader's personal quarters

**Luke woke up and guided himself towards the training room. Vader and a red haired girl with green eyes were waiting there. "Ha ha prettyyyyyy" said a love struck Luke. Vader responded"That was pitiful what were they teaching you on tatooine". " I was going to have you practice lightsaber bttling but that will have to wait, today you learn to flirt" continued Vader . "Oh no not with farm boy over their" complained Mara. "Hey I'm sexier than I look" Luke justified. "That doesn't make sense" argued Vader. "Never mind" a defied Luke responded. "Okay this is the number one pick up phrase, Just say it as you read it" Vader told Luke while handing him a slip of paper. "Are you from Tennessee because you're the only ten I see" Read Luke. Mara responded by saying "No I'm from coruscont"."Okay what in Merlin's saggy pants was that"(sorry that's just a dedication to harry potter.) asked a confused couldn't charm a bantha with that. Luke bet. (random storm troopers enter with bantha.) "You wanna test that theory" challenged Vader. **

**5 minutes later. "That doesn't count" whined Luke. " Yes it does" argued Vader "now hand over the money". "Has anyone seen a flying bison with a arrow on its head" asked Aang(from avatar the last airbender) "Yeah he's in my personal chambers" said a confused Vader. "Ha Ha I win" Cheered Luke. "You suck" grumbled Vader. "Now I can rent Juno" "OMG that is such a good movie" Mara input. "Ahhh, I forgot you where their" said a wet pantsed Vader. "Ani peed his pants, ani peed his pants sung a spirit Jar Jar." **

**Medical bay room 118 holding Leia.**

"**What have been your symptoms lately" asked a nice imperial doctor (omg it's a miracle) Ive been puking after every meal and I'm extremely hungry, tired and moody" Responded Leia. "Well I'm going to give you a blood test" said NID .( nice imperial doctor) **

**10 minutes later: "okay, leia I want you to take 2 of these every day a lunch" demanded NID. "What are they" asked Leia? "They are vitamins" answered NID. 5 seconds later Leia looked at the bottle and promptly passed out.**

**30 mins later in Vader's room**

"**Lord Vader I have something you should look at concerning Princess Leia's health" said NID. "Well give it to me" yelled Vader as he snatched the report out of NID's hands. "She's my daughter"said Vader. "Well that might be the case if your names Anakin but I'm here because she's pregnant". Said NID**

**The secrets out ,how will ani react please review or I will kill of Vader just kidding but it will make momo happy and everyone wants momo to be happy**

**Review me what you thought leia's illness was and go on my profile to vote for the babies gender.**

**If you don't review ill get justin bieber to sing to you for 24 hours. Oh the torture**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chappie 4 **

**Disclamer-holy crap I just bought star wars off of eBay for 25 cents go me, just kidding**

Vader was walking around the executer when he heard a voice he thought he was just being paranoid it comes with the shock of being a pop-pop. It seemed to get louder until he could make out the words "I like big buts and I cannot lie your other brothers can't deny when a girl comes in with an ity bitty waist and a big thing in your face he gets" Vader opened the door to Luke's room and saw him singing and dancing to a song that he knew was killing his brain cells by the million and then Luke screamed "Merlins stagy left boxer what are you doing" "I was just going to ask you the same thing minus the boxers" said a mentally scared Vader. "Today we are going to see your twin sister" said vader. "why didn't you tell me you Goth version of 3p0"( no offense to Goths its just a reference) said Luke. "I just found out about her you little impatient tall version of r2" said Vader. "holy mirror of esired you know r2" said a harry potter overdosed Luke." Then an impatient Vader got sick of Luke whining and he drugged him.

10 minutes later in the nursery filled with desert colored walls that the baby requested.(sorry juno reference)

Luke woke up and Vader then said " this is your sister " "Holy crap if Luke's your son and I'm Luke's sister that makes me your daughter " said the puffy version of June bug I mean leia. " Yes and since this is one doodle that can't be undid home skillet and now a grandpa" said Vader who thought leia took it a lot better than Luke aka "the drama queen". "Holy crap you are Prego like fo shiz" said Luke. "Yup" said a weirded out leia. "Who knew Vader could be so gangsta" thought leia. "When I get my hands on Lando" started Luke. "Lando you think I had lando's baby you haven't even been in the same room as him suddenly you feel yourself turning into a smuggler" yelled leia. She then added in a soft voice that the father was Han. "Han he is so dead I'm gonna shoot him somewhere it will really hurt" screamed Luke. "Well he's kinda in carbonite right now and no thanks to you two" responded leia. "Well that hurt me right here" said Vader while pointing to his heart." "Meesa wants to know if Ani's grand baby is boy or girl" said spirit jar jar ."Well I don't know I haven't had my ultra sound yet" said leia" then suddenly a bored Luke burst out "singing spider pig, spider pig does whatever spider pig does".

Bye bye next up fun with ultrasound goop

Hope im living up to the expectations here well hasta lavest suckers

Ps. You're not a sucker if you review.


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